Recently, I began mounting an effort to make the word “flatte” a part of everyday cafe culture. Now I need your help. I don’t expect you to share my passion, for neologisms in general, or this one in particular.
But I’m going to ask something small of you: I ask that you try using the term “flatte” exactly three times, in real situations, in good faith.
It can be at a coffee shop: “I’d like to order a decaf latte, please, or as I sometimes call it, a ‘flatte.'”
It can be at home: “Honey, I’ve just descaled the espresso machine. I know it’s late for coffee, but how’d you like to test drive it with a flatte?”
It can be at work: “I’m so jittery today, I’m totally switching over to flattes for the afternoon.”
My feeling is, if you use “flatte” three times and it doesn’t stick with you, then it was never meant to be a word. But if you discover that the fourth time you start to say “decaf latte” you have the urge to say “flatte” instead, then we might be on to something.
You only drink caffeinated beverages.
You buy your coffee at a Dunkin Donuts, Tim Horton’s or other shop that doesn’t do espresso-based drinks.
No worries: You too can be a part of The Flatte Project.
I have no problem with the term being used disparagingly: “No anaemic flatte for me today, my good barista. I’ll have an old-fashioned latte instead.”
“I’m no flatte-sipping fliberal [or not]. I’ll get my decaf the way God intended – from the orange-handled carafe, thank you very much.”
Usage is usage. Three times is all I ask. After that, let the lexicographical chips fall where they may.